My Autism Acceptance by Krysten Cooper

     At 24 years old, my life changed. I’d just moved into my first apartment and one night, I was bitten by an insect. Two bumps appeared, eventually one went away. The other grew to the size of a $.50 cent coin. My primary doctor sent me to the ER. There, the bite (turned cyst) was drained and packed. The following months were filled with doctor appointments and trips to the emergency room. Medication after medication was prescribed and risky procedures suggested. Long story short, at 24 my disability journey began. 

     I was never a healthy child, I had the power trio: allergies, asthma, and eczema. I had frequent nose bleeds and a fairly sensitive stomach. Throw in sinus issues and you could only imagine how full my medicine cabinet was. At least one would assume it was full. But, my parents weren’t the best at dealing with health issues. 
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     Despite my health issues, I was a good student. I loved to read and often skipped recess to help my teacher grade spelling tests. My school was on a track system so, during breaks I signed up to work with the lower grades. I was in GATE/MCL (shocker, I know you’ve seen those Tiktoks). Let’s just say, I shouldn’t have made it to adulthood without an AuDHD (Autism/ADHD) diagnosis. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. I was 24 when I received my ADHD diagnosis. I didn’t get my Autism diagnosis for another 13 years! 

    Although I knew I had ADHD in 2010, I didn’t start medication and continuous therapy until 2020. My medicine cabinet was becoming less full and I didn’t want to add anything to it. But, in 2019 I noticed that my capability had changed. I couldn’t get by with just coffee and a planner. So, I started working with a therapist. By 2020, I had a great mental health team and ADHD meds. 

     Have you ever gotten an oil change and then your check engine light comes on and the mechanics can’t get an error code on their computer? That's how I like to think of 2021-2023. The Adderall was working, I had my planner, my Google calendar was sending me reminders, but I just couldn’t function. Eventually, I had to have my Adderall, my planner, Google calendar reminders, and alarms on my phone for things like taking a shower and going to work. I decided to take a few tests and self-diagnosed myself. In April 2023, I was formally diagnosed as Autistic. 

     How could I be getting diagnosed at 37?! How could I have possibly missed the signs? How could my parents have missed the signs? To be honest, there weren’t any signs to miss. I am the eldest child and female. I was cooking, cleaning, doing laundry before I turned 11. I was responsible for my younger brother. I was a good student, my teachers rarely had anything concerning to say about me. Home was chaotic, school was the only place that I got a bit of peace. Due to the chaos, I always consistently masked and learned to make accommodations for myself. 

     I had never not worked on my Executive Functioning skills. So, when my norm wasn’t working anymore in 2021, I didn’t know what was happening. It took a year of managing my ADHD (2020 oil change) for my autism to peek through (2021-23 check engine light). 
Now, a year after my diagnosis, April feels different. It’s always been special, given my work. But, my autism acceptance fluctuates day to day. On one hand, I’m grateful to know the reason for my great skill and struggle in specific areas. On the other hand, I grieve the life my younger self could have had.

​I find peace in knowing that I got my diagnosis in the right season. I (and all autistic individuals) am wonderfully made despite the personal reminder of acceptance the month of April brings.

ABOUT KRYSTEN: 
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Krysten Cooper grew up as a disability sibling. She's been working within the disability community for over 15 years in various capacities. A member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated,  She currently serves as a special education advocate and independent facilitator in LA County. 

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